Of Dreams and Reality

What is real?

Is it real when you feel it brush against your skin?

Is it real when you smell its sweet scent as it approaches?

Is it real when you hear its tender voice calling out for you?

Is it real when you taste its sweetness with your tongue?

Is it real when you see its horrifying beauty with your own eyes?

So is it ever just another dream?

You see them vividly, its scent significantly magnified, the voices in which you hear pierce straight to your soul making your very being shiver, the buds in which you taste become more competent and every single grain has its own distinct taste making one different from the other, everything you touch its texture forever imprinted in your mind. The emotion in which one feels as one dreams is magnified to the extent where it brinks on the extreme… the fear, the pain, the joy, the pleasure, the anxiety…

So how does one tell which is real? The lives we live when we wake or the ones we live after we tuck ourselves in at night… Consider if the latter is that which is real, consider for once that the lives we live as we walk “awake” is a sham. What if dreams are indeed real and that reality is yet another dream. If life is yet another play, you would be in the same boring play – in which the case would be if we believe the life in which we lead is the one during our “waking” moments – a life with absolutes, a life with constants.

But if the opposite were true, if say the dreaming is reality and that if reality are merely constructions of our minds in which we return to, if that is the case, the number of plays we could be in are endless, we are ourselves and at the same time we are everything we could ever wish to be. The possibilities are limitless. A life of uncertainty, excitement, a life of extravagance.

At the end of every long day filled with excitement and possibilities, we are to retire, in which we dream. We dream of a life in which it is monotonous, we dream of ourselves in which we are awake and we lead lives, and this life we lead change at a pace so slow it takes a lifetime. A life with absolutes, a life with constants. We dream of the lives we lead, a life in which we are “awake”. Such dreams we need to keep our sanity – a place in which we are certain of whom we are and of who we are supposed to be – a place of comfort to which we return to after a long day of excitement and uncertainty. A place for us to recuperate and prepare ourselves for yet another day of uncertainty.

“People think dreams aren’t real because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams ARE real, but they are made of view points, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes…”

~Neil Gaiman, The Absolute Sandman Volume 1~

What if?

To Morpheus, Onieros, The Prince of Stories, The Dream King, The Sandman.

For your pleasure…

~Semper Fi~

Simple Absolute Randomness

You're not getting out of this one alive... so don't bother

The problem with stories... if you keep them going long enough, they always and in death - The Absolute Sandman, Neil Gaiman

Am contemplating on using the hall of St John's Institution to stage an episode of Blackadder

 But will not be performing under the banner of Saint John's Institution... Not like i hate the school... its the people in it... 

To my much loved *coughs* readers what are your views on dreams??? feel free to post em in the comments section... need something sensational to write in my next post and I shall owe it all to you *cough*

~Semper Fi~

Of Letting Go and Moving On

You humans simply savour creating bonds of all sorts of relationships as you progress in life. In parallel you also continue to sever the bonds that you once formed. So for those of you humans with mad observation skills, you would by now have realised as how both the acts above that simultaneously occur are both contradictory of one another. With sheer logic – provided of course you have successfully managed to ascend to a higher plane and managed to acquire skills to advance logic (by which you are able to tell that 2 + 2 = more than 2) – you should manage to come to the conclusion to which the effects towards a person are also contradictory. How an act from the above would make one considerable elated the other would in turn make one considerably poignant – as to which makes one feel which I dare not hypothesize – so what an observer would casually wonder as to why you humans choose to religiously continue such a stale circle of events, and this observer believes that he has indeed come to a conclusion as to why you dimwits simply continue going round your stale roundabout.

You humans have this unnerving desire to feel pain… you want to be hurt… you want to suffer… that deep down under the smiles you plaster over your plasticized faces you want to simply cry and feel helpless… you need to feel weak… you need to feel the insignificance of your existence… you need to fall… it helps remind you of who you are…. Who you were… and who you’re going to be… feeling insignificant makes you feel at ease… it takes off the burden of which the whole world depends on you waking up the next morning… no matter how much you desire acknowledgement and power… deep down you will always want to hide and stay in your own hole minding your own business… living life one step at a time… utterly insignificant in the Divine Plan…

And as to why you form bonds… you form them to secretly savour breaking them at the end of the day… to savour the pain… and the feeling of helplessness… You do not want to let go… you do not want to move on… it hurts you… but deep down… you love every moment of it…

 

Something to ponder upon

“Dear Gladys, I really don’t think it is quite right,” said the Duchess feebly unbuttoning a rather soiled kid glove.

“Nothing interesting ever is,” said Lady Windermere

Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime – Oscar Wilde, 1854 – 1900

Yes I am aware that I read awesome stuff

Yet another advice for those who walk this walk to death... if you were to buy new galsses be careful of the frame you choose... cause when i put my new one on... it gave me one hell of a headache...

The Old

The New

And of other awesome things that has happened

and this is for you... and yes I mean YOU!!!

No I've not been diagnosed with cancer or anything terminal... Maybe I'm just nice... Nahhhh :P

~Semper Fi~

Was Wondering How Roslyn Was Doing... and I Ended Up With This

1. Do you eat a lot of fast food?

By definition… Fast Food is supposed to be served in a timely manner… seeing as how often it fails clock in on time I say no I don’t eat unhealthy fat food… I just eat unhealthy not-so-very-fast-food served by incompetent waiters/cashiers :P

2. Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?

Is this another rick question or are you gonna force me to find someone willing to kiss every other part of my just so I can satisfy your childishly-unimaginative-curiosity? 

3. Were you happy when you woke up today?

I don’t even remember going to sleep much less the waking up part

4. Have you ever streaked?

Depends….

5. Are you an understanding person? 

A Tiny bit too understanding as some would put it

6. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? 

Iron Man… So much attitude… especially the scores… and of course Robert Downey Jr. is sooo yummy… (*smiles at Denise*)

7. Did you pray before you went to bed last night?

Another trick question??? I mean come on and ask something you don’t already know :P

8. What did you last get upset about? 

Was u[pset bout how I’ve not been upset ina long while which surprisingly upsets me because I like to believe that we all need to be upset ever once in a while just to make sure that we actually savour the time when we’re not upset, so I was just so upset that I’m not upset which in turn made me pretty damn upset so yea… I’m upset :P

9. Do you eat candy on a daily basis?

DAMN YOU!!! Enough with this trick questions already… What do you think??? I’m 7 or something??? Course I eat them daily :P

10. Does it make you happy to get letters in the mail? 

Ah but of course… I’m even happy when they don’t come through the mail (*smiles*)

11. What are you looking forward to this summer?

Not losing my sanity

12. Who was the last person you ate with? 

Ravin, Ritesh and Hadi… Burger King Masjid Jamek… Post Drama refreshments

13. Do raisins belong in cookies? 

Raisins??? Ah those odd little thingies you pick out and stick em on other people’s clothes and then accuse them that they’ve been picking their noses???After what I just said… what do you think??? ;)

14. What's your screen name?

Izzy… which is commonly short for Isabel…which clearly explains why I like it so much :P

15. Walking into a party, what's the first thing you notice?

That my zipper isn’t up… and I know… lots of time for that after the party.. but still… you can never be too prepared :P

16. Are you currently taking a science class in school? 

Ah school… well back in my days when I did go to school….. :P

17. You've just won a free vacation to either South America or North Korea?

Depends… if I don’t wanna have a family then definitely North Korea :P

18. Kiss on the first date? 

How bout the first ten minutes???

19. Would you rather have chicken or steak?

I prefer the salad… NOT!!!! :P

20. What's one thing you've learned?

I’m either funny or almost mad… which works either way cause I just manage to plaster smiles over peoples faces :P

21. Who was the last person you took a picture of? 

Marie Digby J

22. Would you ever donate blood?

People actually want those redish thingies that flow around on my insides??? Of course… I forgot how IKEA needs them for the colouring on their jam like thingies in which they serve with their meatballs (Theng Ilianna… your culinary art students… help me out here and tell me what they’re called :P) Tht’ll explain why they’re so damn delicious

23. How many snack machines are in your school?

Back in the old days when I was in school….. :P

24. Have you ever felt replaced? 

Yup…. By my demented other half whom apparently is not as funny or as fun as I am :P

25. Are there deerheads covering any walls in your house?

Nope… but I’d always consider yours ;)

26. Do you believe in karma? 

Looking at thew way things turn out??? Nope

26. Have you ever been asked out? 

Yup…usually its sounds like “IZZAT GET OUT OF HERE AND HELP ME LIFT THIS TO THE BACKYARD!!!” I get asked out all the time… They want me so badly

27. Are you good at telling jokes? 
Ask Ilianna :P

28. Do you wish you had smaller feet?

Nope… if they were how can I ever have the pleasure of trying to stuff it down your throat :p

29. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? 

Yup… my bestest :p

30. When ordering sushi, what do you get? 

Jean does the ordering for this one

31. How many of your friends have seen you naked?

Lalalalalala~ :P

32. Do you write in cursive or in print? 

I here proudly state that I write in mirror :P

33. What were you doing at 10 am? 

Probably having an argument with myself about which side of the bed I should get up on and eventually falling asleep all over again because we couldn’t decide

34. Are you different now than you were six months ago?

LOL… yeah… *points at head*

35. So what do you think of this idiot who made you do this tag?

Adorably fickle :P

36. and what would you say to him/her

People say that words often hurt more than actual physical aggression… and that is exactly what this fork and I am going to prove wrong tonight :P

Thank you. *bows*.

TAG!

Ilianna :P

And just another random moment... I like this song :P

Am I Not Just The Obnoxious Git?

Seriously… We need a good revamp on which how education in Malaysia is approached… Basically everyone regardless whether or not they knew this confident (some say arrogant and I say semantics) has more than a rough idea on my views on the Malaysian Education System and I’m still surprised the ISA has yet to catch up with me :P 

And Theng got a dose of resentments towards the system alongside Ilianna when they asked for help with their Malaysian Studies project :P 

So this is what I think what Malaysians need to know 

1)      Which side of the escalator to stand on

2)      How to get on and off trains

3)      Magic word usage (i.e. thank you / please)

4)      The true reason to which signal lights are fixed upon motor vehicles

5)      The virtues of picking up a book and reading it

6)      Techniques on how express themselves via a very much less-destructive medium

Got tagged by someone Horrifyingly Nice :P

1. What is the most important thing in your life?

My sanity... and sense of humor :P

2. What is the last thing you bought with your own money?

Credit :P

3. Where do you wish to get married?

Spot on in between heaven and hell... provides one with perspective if you see where I'm coming from :P

4. How old do you think you’ll be permanently owned by your lover?

Are we still talkin bout my other half??? (refer to the last tag post:P)

5. Are you in love?

*smiles*

6. Where was the last restaurant you had dinner?

Dave's Deli

7. Name the latest book you bought?

The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy... and you people say I'm funny :P

8. What is your full name?

My real one or the one they make me put on my Identity Card?

9. Do you prefer mother or father?

This supposed to be some form of trick question??? C'mon... the minute i say father you'll shout "YOU FUCKIN CHAUVINIST!!!!" and if i were to say Mother "YOU SICK FEMINIST!!!!"

10. Name a person that you really wish to meet in real life for the first time.

Myself... Now that'd be awesome... I'd finally have my first ever un-intellectual intellectual conversation

11. Christina or Britney?

Ummm... we talkin bout cakes right??? those foodlike thingies you throw at each other at parties??? cause thats what i feel like doing when i hear the two names... to defenestrate em as fast as i can :P

12. Do you do your own laundry?

My what??? 

13. The most exciting place you want to go?

This thing i have between my ears :P

14. Hugs or kisses?

how bout a good mix of both and other related activities :P

15. Point out 5 things about the person who tagged you.

- Horrifyingly nice :P

- Seldom goes to the cinema (a handicap in which i shall attempt to fix :P)

- No sex... no drugs but lotsa Rock and roll

- Enjoys photography... both being in front and behind of the camera and doing both at the same time :P

- Finds me oddly funny :P

8 things I’m passionate about

- Theatre 

- Photography

- Writing

- Doing my best but continuously failing at attempting to fail on purpose

- Living life and eagerly awaiting to experience death

- Being romantically inclined but as always failing at it

- Good food

8 things I say too often

- Fuck

- Fuck

- Fuck

- Fuck

- Fuck

- Damn I'm hot... and hell I'm not talkin bout the temperature :P

- I'm sure I'm not gay

-FUCK!!!

8 books I’ve read recently

- P/S I Love You

- The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

- Good Omens

- Empire of Ivory

- V for Vendetta (the original comic script)

- American Gods

- Anansi Boys

- Fragile Things

8 songs I could listen to over and over again 

- Gone by Switchfoot

- Shine by Shannon Noll

- What I've Done by Linkin Park (its not the songs... its the memories we wrote together... KL Drama Team '07... Semper Fi)

- Dancing In the Moonlight by Toploader

- Dare You To Move by Switchfoot

- Back In Black by ACDC (somthing we all know I can always relate to)

- Superman by Five For Fighting (the only song with the essence of me in it)

- Teardrop by Massive Attack

8 things I learnt last year

- When you're dealing with red tape... say fuck and tear your way through (UIA Debate)

- SPM??? Start studying 3 weeks before and you're good to go ;)

- Do what you wanna do (SEA FORENSICS - Duet Acting ;))

- Semper Fi (Drama '07 with relation to SPM trials :P)

- You're an actor... Use your talents wisely :P

- You walk... and never stop...

- When the going gets though... Say fuck and then you keep on going

- Stop looking back and just walk damn it :P

To the Drama Team of '08

KL's Best Actor 2007 - Craig... Played by yours truly

KL's Best Script 2007 - Written by yours truly edited by Marvin Wong inspired by the rest of the team

KL Champions 2007 - Saint John's Institution

High expectations on the 15 of you... and this is all I have to say...

Words To Live By Words A Principle To Die For... 

~Semper Fi~

Of Endings

Everything good must come to an end

Endings...

Another in life’s long list of constants…

We face em on a regular daily basis… we grew up with endings happening all over the place… we have become so used to it we no longer notice them happening… we barely notice this important pivots in life… so much so we completely fail to comprehend its importance and how much it affects on life… We watch em in movies… we read them in novels (regardless how bad the novel is)… we hear of them in fairy tales and such…

So why does one need an ending???

An ending – as the very essence of the word indicates – provides one with closure, it –lacking any other word fit to describe it – marks an end to a certain aspect in ones life… An optimist would say it marks a new beginning in ones life but then again who has ever actually listened to one of those before… But just because something ends it doesn’t necessarily mean that it has a pessimistic connotation over the matter at hand…

Picture a journey with no end… why even bother continuing the journey if it was to never end? Why not just stop and enjoy what one has and just settle down? The very reason to which would drive one to take the choice of settling down is for one to enjoy and savor what one has worked for ones lifetime before one kicks the bucket… Endings give the story a meaning… the journey on which one has traversed gives one satisfaction upon ones arrival at ones destination… and most importantly death gives meaning to life… so for those of you who dream of immortality, I say screw it and just enjoy life as you wait for it to come to an end… and to those optimists who say endings mark a new beginning, I dare say they quite enjoy the little endings they go through in life in which one can further postulate they look forward to dying… now that doesn’t sound very optimistic now does it???

Life Without Death is Meaningless

I posed a question to two different “test subjects” (other people would call them friends… god knows why they do such atrocious things) I asked what were you to do if left in a situation in which nobody gets out of it alive.

Test subject A replied “I’d just say thank goodness I had a wonderful life”

Test subject B replied “I’d stop wherever I am and not move forward the slightest bit”

Obviously the person to date here would be test subject A… one learns to embrace death has learned how to live ones life… Test Subject B on the other hand suffers from a complex in which one is never satisfied with what has happened and constantly asks to oneself what if I did this and that differently… Death gives life meaning and from that we postulate that for one to properly live one must die… another in life’s long list of irony…

The question of dating these test subjects I mentioned is completely immaterial to the grander scheme of things… exposing their identity would be a breach of an unsigned contract… and as to commenting on their gender would be highly unprofessional and sexist of me… sides you can never be too sure these days… In simpler and politically incorrect terms I’m just being an ass simply because I can… :P

~SEMPER FI~

You Bastard... Just Because You Know I Have The Time

Instructions : Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 3 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.


1. At what age do you wish to marry?
Age is yet another number... matters not in the grand scheme of things

2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
"When I'm dead, treasure the happy memories, but don't be afraid to make new ones"


3.This questions sounds weird ... but you must answer !! If sex is a game ... would you be good at it ??

Wanna find out?

4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Home... if you know what I mean


5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
I ought to get some sleep first before i attempt to answer this one


6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
Definitely not :P


7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
Myself

8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
See how fast I can spend it all

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
Definitely... being the shameless prick I am

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

1. lemme think about it...
2. still thinking about it...
3. almost there... Nah... not quite there yet

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
You mean my lower half??? :P

12. Smartest thing you've ever heard someone say...

You're different... Just like everyone else

13. What is your ambition?
To Not Lose My Sanity... Damn it I don't think thats gonna be possible now

14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
When they're being too nice

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My charm :P

16.Are you a shopaholic or not?
I'm a guy... Course I am :P

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
The amazingly confident part... AIMING TO BE RETARDEDLY AMAZINGLY CONFIDENT :P

18. Are you male or female?
Male... hold on lemme check... wait... that wasn't there before...

19.Honestly, do you think life is fair?
Nope... but stop bitching and deal with it

20. Are you missing anyone now?
yup

I tag

1. Jazzie

2. Li Jia

3. Sheel

DAMN YOU MALAYSIA

I'm currently trying to access my JPA results... but the freaking connection keeps timing out... damn it

Semper Fidelus

I am BACKKKKKK from freaking boot camp…

Definitely exaggerating but yes people… I am back from NS… and not cause of some other interview… this time I’m back for good… basically told them how I’m “going” for Matriculation… but seriously… and arty geek like me in one of those horrid places… *gasp*

National Service… what can I say… an utter waste of time… which is precisely why everyone should go for it…

OKAYYYY…

Now seriously… it is in my “humble” opinion that the National Service Programme is AN UTTER WASTE OF TIME AND RESOURCES…

Alrighttttt… Now I’m serious about being serious… so NS is basically divided into distinct modules, the physical module and the Multi-skill module… and in my personal and very much so “humble” opinion is A COMPLETE UTTER WASTE OF TIME…

OKAYYYYY… Time to be seriously serious about being completely and utterly serious…

well the physical module is indeed fun… basically we had a silly obstacle course, repelling, flying fox and of course the over-rated COLT M-16 handling… whilst on the other hand the multi-skills module was – and I’m being completely nice here – like sending me back to pre-school… seriously…. I mean I do get what those silly games are supposed to do to us… but seriously… we’re 18 year olds…. I mean we don’t need to go through kindergarten all over again… what we need is a good kick… so yeah…. Screw the damn module and kick em into gear… stop wasting your time people… these people are the nation's future… they need to be kicked into shape… so go ahead (especially since I’m no longer in your silly program)

So yes I’m back and I seriously do like the hair… and I am so totally back on stage enjoying myself once more… and of course… I do have scripts stashed waiting to be performed…

And oh yeah… I plan on performing an episode of Blackadder on stage… interested anyone?

SEMPER FI~

Its SOOOOO GOOD TO BE BACK